April 2013
2 posts
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How to cope with a job you hate
You spend at least a third of your life at work, so you better be spending it doing something you find rewarding. If the job you wanted turned out to be not what you expected or if you had to take a less than ideal job to make ends meet, there are plenty of ways to make your job more bearable until you can move on to a job you like. The key is to focus on long-term goals and possibilities so your...
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Why is stress so bad for your health?
It’s National Stress Awareness Month! What’s there to be aware of? We’re all familiar with the symptoms of stress, but most of us don’t know just how harmful stress can be. In small doses it can motivate you to take action, but when stress is excessive or long-lasting it can be dangerous for your physical and mental health. When I say dangerous, I mean depression, cancer, heart attack,...
March 2013
3 posts
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Beginner’s guide to meditation
Meditation is a state of relaxed alertness in which the mind stays focused in order to decrease its chattering and wandering. A common misconception is that meditation is about completely emptying the mind or quieting all thoughts; rather, it is about choosing which thoughts to focus on. The purpose of meditation is to embrace your true self, let go of judgment, and strengthen your mind so that...
3 tags
How to get more done in less time
The #1 complaint I hear from clients and friends is that they don’t have enough time. Between work, school, kids, and other obligations, they believe they can’t make time in their schedules to pursue their dreams, to reach professional goals, to have more fun, to exercise, etc. They are unhappy and wish they could make a change, but they feel stuck. Here is what I tell them:
When you say that you...
4 tags
How to stop comparing yourself to others
Comparing yourself to others is a sure-fire way to ruin your self-worth and chances of being happy. Your self-worth determines your satisfaction with yourself and your life, your confidence in pursuing what you want, and your ability to stay stable through life’s fluctuations. It is one of the most important, intimate, and individualized components of understanding and accepting yourself—which is...
February 2013
3 posts
2 tags
Open your heart to give & receive more love
Our insecurities can hold us back not only from being able to love ourselves but also from being able to love others. It is easy to close up your heart to protect it from being hurt, especially if you have suffered heartbreak or betrayal in the past. However, you suffer more by denying yourself the joy of giving love to others. Even if it makes you feel vulnerable, giving love and opening your...
2 tags
How to never diet again (woo hoo!)
Being at a healthy weight is simple (really!). Eating correctly and having a healthy body that looks and feels great is easy. I promise. But you can forget how easy it is because you’ve been brainwashed. Don’t believe me? How many of these apply to you:
You wonder why someone who is in shape is exercising or eating healthily since they’re already in shape.
You think eating a salad or fruit is...
3 tags
How to set goals (so you actually achieve them)
It’s important to have goals so that you always have something to work toward, to look forward to, to challenge your mind, to improve your skills, and to expand your interests. But it can also be hard to turn vague dreams into clear, concrete goals. Here is how to set effective goals that you actually achieve.
1. Focus on your core needs, passions, interests, values, and things you enjoy. Your...
January 2013
3 posts
4 tags
Share your secret & your burden—you're not alone
I recently went to a Postsecret live event where Frank Warren, the creator of Postsecret, shared lessons and stories from his experience running the site. Postsecret is an online community art project where people anonymously mail in secrets on postcards which Frank then posts on the site every Sunday. In 8 years, Frank has collected over half a million secrets. Some secrets are powerfully deep...
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How to get motivated when you're stuck in a rut
Every goal comes along with obstacles that make the goal worth achieving and make you feel accomplished when you achieve it. However, while you’re still pursuing your goal, the obstacles can sometimes overwhelm you and make you lose sight of the motivation and excitement you felt when you were starting out. You might feel frustrated, discouraged, tired, and stuck because you don’t know...
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10 ways to improve your self-esteem
Q: How can I raise my self-esteem? Thanks… Your blog is a lovely guide to happiness.
Low self-esteem is something that a lot of people struggle with yet most people don’t know how detrimental it can be. Although everyone feels unsure of themselves sometimes, self-doubt can cause a lot of damage if it goes from a fleeting moment of uncertainty or fear to a permanent negative opinion of...
December 2012
3 posts
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How to love yourself more
Q: How do I learn to drop any ideas that I myself am not perfect as I am to let love of myself flourish? I find when I do feel this I’m a lot more outgoing and social, and the opposite otherwise. I do feel to go with the flow of things is to simply accept and love what is, but I find self-esteem a problem or allowing myself to be filled with my own love somewhat distant.
Because...
3 tags
On Religion
I’m often asked how religion influences my way of thinking about life and my approach to coaching. The short answer is: the ideas I live by and write about are products of philosophical thinking and psychological understanding rather than of religious beliefs; however, these are not mutually exclusive and can actually be applied together beautifully.
Nothing I teach goes against any religion—in...
2 tags
How to let go of your expectations of the...
“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” -Sam Keen
We all have some idea of the person we’d like to end up with, but some expectations and demands can make you miss the opportunity to be with the right person because you were waiting for the perfect person. By holding onto expectations, you can even ruin your relationship with the...
November 2012
3 posts
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What are you grateful for?
When things aren’t going so well, and even when things are going great, we can take a lot of special parts of life for granted. Here is a list of things we tend to take for granted and why you should take some time out to be thankful for them:
Yourself, for your mind, feelings, thoughts, beliefs, personality, quirks, memories, dreams, and all the unique qualities that make you so special
Your...
2 tags
How to be more tolerant
I’ve been thinking about the subject of tolerance in light of International Day for Tolerance this Friday. At first I wondered how relevant a topic it is for my blog, but then I realized that tolerance is actually a key ingredient in most of the advice I give. With my blog I try to encourage you to live a life of love, openness, appreciation, positivity, kindness, fulfillment, and purpose. To be...
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Does medication really work?
Q: I was wondering, have you ever thought that maybe, medicine lacks effectiveness? By that what I mean is the prescriptions and treatments are only temporary and the disease never truly vanishes, it comes back again.
We’ve made amazing advances in understanding and treating physical and mental illnesses. We owe a lot to medical research for finding treatments and cures and saving...
October 2012
3 posts
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How I overcame depression
Q: I read your post that said you were depressed and I really want to know how you got better.. You see I’m really tired of being me, I’m really tired of this feeling. Thank you.
What worked for me in a moderate case of depression might not work for everyone, but I hope it can give you some ideas and hope.
I accepted my situation I remained very self-aware and acknowledged all of my...
4 tags
Everything was going great; why did I get dumped?
Q: Hiya! Your advice is always so helpful. I was hoping you could tell me how I can deal with rejection? Long story short, I had a fun relationship with a girl, she was immensely into me, messaging me obsessively and showing that she was very interested. Now, everything suddenly stopped, barely any contact. Did she just lose that connection?
I’m sorry to hear that, but honestly, it’s not an...
4 tags
Why you deserve to be happy
Q: Your blog is simply amazing and inspiring. I’m not sure if you can answer this, but - why do I deserve to be happy? And how could I convince myself that I deserve it, that I’m worth it? That I’m not just a waste of space?
Think about how amazing it is that you’re alive right now and how much you can do with that. How much fun you can have, how much good you can do for others,...
September 2012
3 posts
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How to help a depressed friend
Q: You seemed the best person to go to for help. My friend, lately, has been depressed, not so much in the sad sense, but I can tell she is down from how lethargic she’s been. I was just wondering if there was anything I could do to hopefully get her out of this slump? Sorry to make your life harder, but I confess I’m not one for listening, and I’m much better with actions to...
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Why you need to love yourself before anyone else
Before you even consider being in a relationship with another person, you have to love yourself. If you love and accept yourself, you are able to accept someone else’s love fully, to know what you deserve from your partner, and to know what type of person is a good match for you.
Be secure with yourself Many people hastily enter relationships seeking security from someone else in order to...
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How to see life more positively
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” -Charles Swindoll
The way you experience life events depends on the way you interpret them. If you’re ready to believe the worst of everything, then that becomes your reality. If you keep your mind open and perceive things in a positive and forgiving light, your world becomes brighter and you become happier.
Say you...
August 2012
2 posts
4 tags
How to accept yourself
Accept yourself for what you are and what you can be
If you look at yourself and only see your supposed imperfections, think about what being “perfect” or “better” actually means—it’s really just a strange, abstract idea that doesn’t mean anything, yet doesn’t allow us ever to be happy. Instead of holding an impossible goal of how you “should” be over your head, focus on all the great qualities...
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We are limited more by our attitudes than by lack...
“The key to human happiness lies within our own state of mind, and so too do the primary obstacles to that happiness.” -Dalai Lama
How many times have you thought to yourself, “I wish …” or “if only …” but stopped there? Sometimes, no matter how much we might want something, it’s easier to continue doing what’s familiar and safe than to try to achieve a goal or dream if it means...
July 2012
3 posts
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Why you should stop complaining
Complaining doesn’t change your situation and certainly doesn’t help you solve your problem- it actually just makes everything worse.
Complaining makes your situation seem worse than it is. Complaining draws more negativity in, clouds your mind, and ruins your mood. Further, wallowing in how hard you have it drains you of any motivation to find a solution, so you end up stuck in...
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How to improve your sleep
Sleep is one of the vital things we need to function healthily and to have enough energy to live fully everyday. Here are some ways to improve your sleep habits:
Do something that relaxes you like taking a bath or reading a book.
Go to bed every night at the same time and get up at the same time to keep your biological clock set.
Drink milk before bed. It metabolizes into melatonin, which...
3 tags
How technology is ruining your relationships
“We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbour.” -Dalai Lama
We have all this amazing technology built for us to communicate better, but we are communicating less and worse than ever. We’re connected to hundreds of friends online, yet we’ve been left with few real, meaningful friendships in real life.
...
June 2012
2 posts
4 tags
How to pursue your life purpose
Once you define your life purpose, you will feel really excited and eager to start pursuing it (if not, you haven’t found it yet- go back to step 1!) You may realize that any stress or dissatisfaction you feel in your life is due to your going down a certain path in life while your passions and purpose are pulling you in another direction. Now that you’ve identified the direction you want to be...
5 tags
How to forgive yourself
You can’t thrive until you work out any negative feelings, judgments, and grudges you’re holding against yourself and forgive yourself for them. There’s no way to space forward when past events are bringing down your self-worth. Even if you’ve done something that makes you feel guilty, angry, or disappointed in yourself, guess what? We all have! You haven’t done anything...
May 2012
2 posts
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How to be more appreciative
We all have so much to be grateful for everyday. We have everything we need and can get almost anything we want. And yet many people find many more things in their lives to complain about than to appreciate. We take the fact that we have all the things we need to survive for granted and we’ve learned that we can get the things we desire, and we end up wanting more and more instead of being happy...
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How to learn from negative situations
“Every cloud has a silver lining”… “There’s a light at the end of the tunnel”… “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”… There are so many sayings about finding the positive in a negative situation because in the moment it’s hard to remind yourself that things will be ok, let alone that things might even be better afterward. But once you’ve overcome the obstacle, you might realize that you’re...
April 2012
2 posts
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How to define your life purpose
One of our core needs in life is that of Purpose. To feel fulfilled in life, we need to contribute beyond our own lives so that our lives have meaning. We need to know that we live for a purpose and to actively pursue it.Whatever your religious, philosophical, or existential beliefs, it is important to have your own personal understanding of why you are alive right now, and what you’re going to do...
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The "keys" to happiness
The “keys” to a happy life!
1. Be sure to have the right key and the right door: Go after happiness in substantive, meaningful goals, self-care, health, and relationships, not superficial things like possessions, money, success, etc.
2. When you enter your happy place, make sure to keep it clean and neat from debris: Keep your attitude positive, open-minded, and appreciative and keep...
March 2012
2 posts
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Psychology 101: Maslow's hierarchy of needs
Maslow studied happy, successful people in order to find out what the rest of us need to do to thrive. He concluded that we all have certain needs in common which make us feel happy and fulfilled when they are met. When the needs are not satisfied, we feel mental or physical distress.
Maslow divided these needs into a hierarchy: when the lower needs of physical and emotional well-being are...
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Happiness comes from within
Are you happy right now? If not, why not? If not now, when?
What is happiness? Happiness is a feeling of fulfilment and appreciation that comes from defining what we want to get out of life and having a positive, excited view of life. More happiness is available to us when we can think clearly about what is important to us and what will truly fulfil us. We then pay less attention to the...
